Sam and Gary adopted their son through Adoption Focus. In this post Sam writes about her desire to adopt and the beginning of their journey.
Adoption is something I have always felt strongly about. To me, adoption is just another way to become a parent, and why bring another child into an already over populated world?
However no-one prepares you for how broody the adoption process can make you!! I guess it makes sense, you spend all your time thinking about and preparing to be a parent and then you see all the little faces filled of hope and innocence and you start to really believe you could actually be a parent!
During the process I have read lots of books and blogs but have found there is limited information from a UK adopters prospective so I am writing this blog to give my take on the process. Of course each process is unique and I am by no means an expert on adoption or anything else for that matter. But I do believe it is good to share!
So let’s go back to the beginning………….
Following personal tragedies and buying our first home, we started to think about life and the future and where we really wanted to be, adoption had been mentioned over the years but we decided this was the year we would progress from words and into action. So after an online search we found a local agency and registered for their next information event.
As soon as we pulled into the car park we were greeted with happy smiling faces who directed us to parking spaces, ticked our names of a list and gave us name badges and a registration form. We were surprised to see so many people there but also reassured, there is something about safety in numbers. I immediately began creating little stories in my head about these other people and wondering what had brought them here. But meeting new people is not something I am great at so apart from a few ‘hellos’ we kept ourselves to ourselves.
There were no awkward introductions and the event began with a really insightful presentation in which reasons why children needed adopted families were explained and we were also shown a cartoon about adoption from the children’s perspective.
It was a little surprising to hear that most children are not relinquished as the TV shows and films would have us believe but are removed for their own safety and most birth parents are against the adoption process. Also surprising was the impact removal from the birth family can have on the children. It was a real educational experience.
We were given the opportunity for a 1:1 chat with a social worker after the formal presentation ended. We took this opportunity mainly because everyone else did, and we didn’t want to be ‘that couple’ and look uninterested. It was useful to have that chat it gave us the opportunity to ask questions about the process and the agency. Choosing your adoption agency should be given thought as these people will be a part of your lives for many years to come. It is important you feel comfortable with your agency, choosing a smaller agency made us feel more like part of a family and less like just another couple, which was important to us.
You can read more from Sam on her blog.